Daily Archives: August 2, 2007

Some kind of vortex, I imagine

Another gem of a quote on the BBC News site today, on a story about broadband speeds not being as advertised (shock).

A BT spokesman confirmed that 8Mbps would be a rarity for users.

“Virtually no-one will get it. The laws of physics start applying as soon as it leaves the exchange and you would have to live on top of the exchange to get the full 8 megabits,” he said.

I’m glad the laws of physics apply once broadband leaves the exchange. Within the exchange, of course, it’s a different matter. I understand time and space break down, Planck’s constant isn’t and Heisenberg’s uncertainly principle only applies to the choice between a chocolate digestive and a garibaldi.

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Your time starts now

GCSE Hollyoaks Studies

Paper 1. Twenty-eight minutes 30 seconds (including commercial break). Answer one question only. Do not use txt-speak in your answer except for comic effect.

3. Imagine that a current Hollyoaks storyline includes one school-age character bullying another, and posting a video of the bullying to a popular video sharing site such as YouTube (other video sharing sites are available). Write a story outline for an episode showing how the teachers react to the videos.

Well I wud start wiv a peace ov music rite thats rly rly emo n show da teecher lookin all cross an drinkin a capacheno in starbucks not the normal wun the uvver one wot nobody goes too cos its gay innit. An den in teh starf room dey is rantin n ravin an texin eachuvva look at youtube look at utube iss dis grays full i no shes well fugly but she dont need er nut kikd in bruv. An den dey go m8 m8 i no wot to do innit. Wot he sez. An den de adz lol.

rfta de adz all de teechuz dey go 2 a big confrunz were dey all rant n rave agin lol an vote 2 shut down youtube. dat’s dat de end.

F. Highly unlikely, even for Hollyoaks. Ridiculously implausible solution, to shoot the messenger rather than address the problem itself. Signed, de teechuz.

And this is me.

That article shows one beacon of cluefulness in the stupidity: the spoke for the charity Beatbullying. Emma-Jane Cross said, “Calls for social networking sites like YouTube to be closed because of cyberbullying are as intelligent as calls for schools to be closed because of bullying.”

Rispeck’.

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