In a shocking display of preparedness my 2011 predictions are actually ready for the start of 2011. I revealed them to an eager, captive audience of friends at the Second Annual New Year’s Eve B Bar Luncheon Event, known as 2NYEBBLE10 in the never-adopted Avaragadan Calendar.
- Kate gets William’s name slightly wrong in the wedding ceremony.
- The Great British Public vote No in the AV referendum.
- Sarah Palin officially declares as a Republican candidate for US President.
- At least one national UK newpaper closes by the end of the year.
- Sudan will break apart.
- Only one of the home nations qualifies for the Euro 2012 football championships.
- Andy Murray reaches the men’s singles final of at least one Grand Slam tournament.
- Pyeongchang in South Korea is awarded the 2018 Winter Olympics.
- New Zealand win the 2011 Rubgy Union World Cup.
- Manchester United wins the English football Premiership.
- Apple launches a new thinner, lighter, faster iPad model with a camera.
- Yahoo sells Flickr to Google.
- Facebook buys Skype.
- There will not be a ‘Windows Phone 7 for Tablets’.
- Steve Ballmer will be replaced as Microsoft CEO.
- Oscar for Best Actor: Colin Firth, for The King’s Speech.
- Oscar for Best Supporting Actor: Andrew Garfield, for The Social Network.
- Oscar for Best Film: The Social Network.
- Oscar for Best Director: Christopher Nolan for Inception.
- Upstairs Downstairs returns as a regular TV series.
- Pembroke finish Head of the River in the May Bumps (men’s first division).
- Cambridge win the University Boat Race.
- Strawberry Fair takes place.
- By the year’s end Cambridge’s LGBT pub is not The Bird.
- The Misguided Bus actually opens.
- Margaret Thatcher
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
- Kirk Douglas
- Michael Douglas
- King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia
As ever, the glamorous Mr Chris Walsh shall be sole arbiter of correctness and at the end of the year it will be his solemn duty to produce a fully non-interactive score card explaining just how poorly I’ve done this time.
How to sum up 2010? To paraphrase Jim Crow from Dumbo, and with apologies in advance to the Disney Corporation:
I seen a penis tanned, was seen on TV and I went to London to march with Pride. But I been done seen about everything, when I seen a Melanie fly.
However, I did as usual make some predictions for the year just gone, and the results are in – courtesy of Chris as per. Adjudications and corrections in square brackets. Feel free to insert your own oar in the comments.
- Best Actor: Colin Firth, A Single Man [No – Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart]
- Best Actress: Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia [No – Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side]
- Best Original Screenplay: District 9 [No – The Hurt Locker]
- Best Director: James Cameron, Avatar [No – Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker]
- Best Picture: Up in the Air [No – The Hurt Locker]
UK General Election
- The election takes place on March 25th [No – May 6th]
- Predicted share: Con 39%, Lab 32%, Lib Dem 21% [Close enough – 36%, 29%, 23%]
- Predicted seats: Con 296, Lab 267, Lib Dem 56 [Close enough – 306, 258, 57]
- A Green party MP is elected [Yes – Caroline Lucas]
- Esther Rantzen wins Luton South [No – she lost her deposit]
- ITV closes down ITV3 and ITV4 to save money [No]
- Britain’s Got Talent contestants include a trio of drag artistes collectively known as The Fleurettes [No]
- Robbie Williams rejoins Take That for at least one concert [Everything but! Rejoined Take That, recorded an album, announced 2011 tour, performed with Gary at Help for Heroes concert, Take That performing New Year’s Eve in Barbados but without Robbie – 0.9 points]
- The final UK Big Brother is won by a lesbian [No – Josie, or Brian Dowling if you count Celebrity Big Brother]
- The Large Hadron Collider does not find the Higgs Boson this year [True]
- Exoplanet GJ 1214b is confirmed as a water ocean planet with an atmosphere [No]
- Winter Olympics: Great Britain win one gold medal [True], one silver medal [Wrong – zero] and zero bronze medals [True]
- World Cup semi-finalists (in no particular order): England [No], Brazil [No], Denmark [No], Argentina [No]
- Cambridge win the University Boat Race [True]
- Andy Murray wins a grand slam singles tournament [No]
- A fatal accident occurs during the construction of Olympic Park in Stratford [No]
- The Duke of Edinburgh [No]
- Jimmy Young [No]
- Jimmy Saville [No]
- James Garner [No]
- Lady Gaga [No]
- Ian Paisley [No]
[Total score: 7.9/32]
Well, that was rubbish as usual. Any moment now: my 2011 predictions.