Monthly Archives: January 2020

At yesterday’s lunch I attempted another set of group predictions for 2020, with… mixed results. Perhaps – and you may well argue that I should have learned this lesson by now – leaving it until Chris and Chef were a few fathoms into their second bottle was a mistake.

However, that was last decade, back when we still had hope, before trousers were currency and before the Denunciation of the Courgette. Now we must push on, push on, into our 4K teal and orange future.

Our collective (hic) vision for 2020 follows:

Politics

1. Who will be the leader of the main UK political parties (Con, Lab, LD, SNP) on December 25, 2020?
   • Melanie: Boris Johnson, Daniel Zeichner, Layla Moran, Nicola Sturgeon
   • Chris: Boris Johnson, Billy Bragg, Caroline Flack, Jimmy McSporran
   • Chef: Boris Johnson, Keir Starmer, Jo Swinson, Nicola Sturgeon
   • Andy H: Boris Johnson, Keir Starmer, Ed Davey, Nicola Sturgeon
   • Andy C: Boris Johnson, Rebecca Long-Bailey, Ed Davey, Nicola Sturgeon
   • David: Boris Johnson, Keir Starmer, Ed Davey, Nicola Sturgeon
2. Brexit! Will the UK extend the transition period beyond December 2020? If so, until when? If not, will the transition end with or without a deal?
   • Melanie: yes, until a table is booked at Milliways
   • Chris: yes, until the end of time
   • Chef: no, and there’ll be no deal
   • Andy H: yes, for three months
   • Andy C: yes, until end of January 2021
   • David: yes, until end of 2021
3. Will Scotland have an independence referendum in 2020? If so, what’s the result?
   • Melanie: no; it’ll be talked about, but that’s it
   • Chris: yes; no score after extra time
   • Chef: no
   • Andy H: no
   • Andy C: no
   • David: no; it’ll be scheduled for 2021
4. Who will be the Democrat nominee against Trump in the November 2020 election, and what will be the result of that election?
   • Melanie: RBG; Democrat win
   • Chris: The Littlest Hobo; Trump win
   • Chef: Elizabeth Warren; Trump win
   • Andy H: Elizabeth Warren; Trump win
   • Andy C: Hillary Clinton; Trump win
   • David: want Elizabeth Warren (score me on this one), fear Joe Biden; Democrat win

Entertainment

1. How many Oscar nominations will Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker receive? And how many wins? Guess categories for bonus points.
   • Melanie: 4, 1, VFX
   • Chris: 3, 3, Best lesbian kiss not shown in Shanghai
   • Chef: 2, 0
   • Andy H: 2, 0, VFX
   • Andy C: 4, 0
   • David: 5, 2, VFX
2. Which country will come first at Eurovision 2020? And where will the UK finish?
   • Melanie: Putin; bottom
   • Chris: Central African Republic; 30th
   • Chef: Norway; 2nd from bottom
   • Andy H: Denmark; bottom
   • Andy C: Ireland; bottom
   • David: Australia; 18th
3. Who will be announced, if anyone, as the next James Bond?
   • Melanie: Robert Pattinson
   • Chris: Hermione Granger
   • Chef: Daniel Radcliffe
   • Andy H: no announcement
   • Andy C: Jodie Comer
   • David: no announcement
4. What will be the highest audience for an episode of Doctor Who series 12?
   • Melanie: 8.7m
   • Chris: too drunk to answer
   • Chef: too drunk to answer
   • Andy H: 8m
   • Andy C: 9.6m
   • David: 8.5m
5. How many Razzies will the Cats movie receive?
   • Melanie: 5
   • Chris: too drunk to answer
   • Chef: too drunk to answer
   • Andy H: 3
   • Andy C: 4
   • David: 5

Sport

1. How many gold/silver/bronze medals will Team GB win at the Summer Olympics in Tokyo?
   • Melanie: 73 total
   • Chris: 69 bronze
   • Chef: 24 gold, 36 silver, 12 bronze
   • Andy H: 50 total
   • Andy C: 65 total
   • David: 60 total

There you have it, and may god have mercy on our souls.

I’m not entirely sure why I bother, but here we are again.

At our semi-annual New Year’s Eve lunch yesterday, it emerged that I was the only one to remember our group predictions from the last gasp of 2018. While Chef and Chris glugged the wine, I dug out the predictions and scored us all.

It’s fascinating, I tell you. Here are the results.

One or other

1. The upcoming Sussex youngling. Which flavour: M, F or other?
   • Actual: M
   • ❌ Chris: F (and ginger)
   • ✅ Melanie: M
   • ✅ Chef: M
   • ❌ David: F
2. Ultima Thule, to be visited by New Horizons mere hours after I post. What will it turn out to be: contact binary, close binary, or other?
   • Actual: contact binary
   • ❌ Chris: other – non-binary
   • ❌ Melanie: close binary
   • ✅ Chef: contact binary
   • ✅ David: contact binary
3. The Crystal Maze, Richard Ayoade edition. Axed or not?
   • Actual: not
   • ❌ Chris: axed
   • ❌ Melanie: axed
   • ❌ Chef: axed
   • ❌ David: axed

Yes or no, plus

1. Will there be a second referendum on Brexit? If there is, who wins?
   • Actual: no
   • ✅ Chris: no (if there is, remain wins)
   • ✅ Melanie: no (dunno)
   • ✅ Chef:  no (remain)
   • ✅ David: no (remain)
2. Will there be a general election? If there is, who wins?
   • Actual: yes (Tories)
   • ❌❌ Chris: no (DUP) (yes, he’d had a few glasses of wine by now)
   • ❌❌ Melanie: no (hung)
   • ✅❌ Chef: yes (hung)
   • ✅❌ David: yes (hung)
3. Will Brexit happen on March 29th? (I should’ve asked about the type of deal really)
   • Actual: no
   • ❌ Chris: yes
   • ❌ Melanie: yes
   • ❌ Chef: yes (with some deal, but not May’s current offering)
   • ❌ David: yes

Higher or lower

1. Which film has the better opening weekend: Avengers Endgame or Star Wars Episode IX?
   • Actual: AE ($1.2bn) over IX ($725m)
   • ❌ Chris: IX (but he actually thinks AE) (yes, still drinking)
   • ❌ Melanie: IX
   • ❌ Chef: IX
   • ✅ David: AE
2. Which football gang finishes higher in the 2018-19 Premier League: Arsenal or Tottenham Hotspur?
   • Actual: Tottenham (3rd) over Arsenal (6th)
   • ❌ Chris: Arsenal (via Accrington Stanley) (cheers)
   • ✅ Melanie: Tottenham
   • ❌ Chef: Arsenal
   • ✅ David: Tottenham
3. Which corporation has the greater market capitalisation: Apple or Microsoft?
   • Actual: Apple ($1.295tn) over Microsoft ($1.202tn)
   • ✅ Chris: Apple
   • ❌ Melanie: Microsoft
   • ❌ Chef: Microsoft
   • ❌ David: Microsoft

Comings and goings

(as at December 31, 2019)

1. Who will be the UK PM?
   • Actual: Boris Johnson
   • ❌ Chris: Theresa May
   • ❌ Melanie: Sajid Javid
   • ✅ Chef: Boris Johnson
   • ❌ David: Sajid Javid
2. Who will be the Manchester United football manager?
   • Actual: Ole Gunnar Solskjær
   • ❌ Chris: Sir Alex Ferguson (hic)
   • ❌ Melanie: Jose Mourinho
   • ✅ Chef: Ole Gunnar Solskjær
   • ✅ David: Ole Gunnar Solskjær
3. How many moonwalkers will still be alive? (Currently, 4 of 12)
   • Actual: 4
   • ❌ Chris: 3
   • ❌ Melanie: 3
   • ✅ Chef: 4
   • ❌ David: 3

Dates

1. When will Trump resign? Or won’t he resign in 2019?
   • Actual: he didn’t
   • ✅ Chris: he won’t resign
   • ✅ Melanie: he won’t resign
   • ✅ Chef: he won’t resign
   • ❌ David: June 1st
2. When will May resign? Or won’t she resign in 2019?
   • Actual: July 24th
   • ❌ Chris: she won’t resign
   • ✅ (closest) Melanie: June
   • ❌ Chef: October 1st
   • ❌ David: April 15th
3. When will Prince Philip die? Or will he make it to 2020?
   • Actual: still going
   • ❌ Chris: January 10th
   • ✅ Melanie: he won’t die in 2019
   • ❌ Chef: June 1st
   • ✅ David: he won’t die in 2019

See, I told you it was fascinating. And the final scores:

• 🥄 Chris: 3
• 🥉 Melanie: 6
• 🥇 Chef: 8
• 🥈David: 7