Monthly Archives: January 2021

January 1, 2021 · 12:06 pm

Avaragado and friends predict 2021

Greetings from Space Year 2021, in which you can and often must do everything from the comfort of your own home except tell an investment bank that you’ve moved, which still requires written confirmation and a recent, original document that none of us receive anymore because we’ve all gone paperless.

Anyway, I shall take that up with my bank manager, a Mr Mainwaring of Walmington-on-Sea. He’ll sort it all out if I give him an orange.

For New Year’s Eve 2020 we followed the latest fashion trends and met virtually over Zoom. Our usual venue, née B Bar, lately Baroosh, and now The Town and Gown (not that one), is like most of the UK in COVID limbo. Cambridge is in tier 4, currently the most restrictive tier, officially labelled “stay at home” and more realistically known as “horse significantly bolted”.

Chris wrote a quiz for us this year, including a round in which we had to identify various TV shows with the heads of the main characters replaced with random weirdos:

Image may contain: 4 people, including David Smith, Lynda Andrews and Duncan Stansfield, people dancing and people standing

The predictions were pretty random, along the lines of dear god when will this nightmare be over? Here they are, in the order we made them:

  • Louise: Joe Biden dies before end of 2021
  • Will Trump vacate the White House willingly?
    • Group consensus: yes
  • Who will replace Boris Johnson, because surely he’s toast in 2021?
    • Chef: nobody – he’ll stay
    • Adrian: Gove
    • David: Priti Patel, because we haven’t suffered enough
    • Chris: Craig from Big Brother 1
  • Tokyo Olympics?
    • Won’t happen – Chef, Melanie, Chris
    • Will happen – Adrian
    • Will happen, but cut down – David, Louise
  • Glastonbury?
    • Will happen – Chris
    • Won’t happen – Chef, Melanie, Adrian, David, Louise
  • When will the Bond film get released?
    • November – Melanie, David
    • August – Chef
    • September – Adrian
    • July virtually – Louise
    • April – Chris
  • When will you personally be vaccinated?
    • Louise – July
    • Melanie – June
    • Chris – he won’t get it (I think he meant he wouldn’t be invited, not that he’d refuse)
    • Chef – June
    • Adrian – April
    • David – May
  • When will we as a group go for a proper dinner together again?
    • Louise – June
    • Melanie – August
    • Chris – March
    • Chef – April
    • Adrian – May
    • David – May
  • Will anyone on this call leave the UK in 2021? (“UK” = UK + Scotland in case Scotland has ejected)
    • Louise – yes – Lynda will go to Spain ASAP
    • Melanie – yes, Lynda
    • Chris – yes, Lynda and Chris/Melanie
    • Chef – yes, Chris/Melanie, himself
    • Adrian – no
    • David – yes, Lynda
  • In which month of 2021 will the Duke and Duchess of Sussex cease to be duke and duchess?
    • Louise – not at all
    • Melanie – October
    • Chris – not at all
    • Chef – not at all
    • Adrian – June
    • David – not at all
  • Wimbledon?
    • Louise – July
    • Melanie – July but no crowd
    • Chris – won’t happen
    • Chef – August
    • Adrian – July
    • David – July but with smaller crowds
  • This gathering next NYE?
    • Chris: all of us, evening meal, posh hotel in London – specifically, The Ritz
    • Chef: Town and Gown (not that one), lunchtime, but he thinks it’s a bit optimistic

Fingers crossed we’ll still all be here to mark ourselves at the end of the year.

Advertisement

Leave a comment

Filed under Random

January 1, 2021 · 11:18 am

Avaragado’s 2020 predictions – results

WELL.

It’s safe to say we missed the main story of the year. Our imagined 4K teal and orange future conked out at 256×192 with colour clash, just about rendering a Pride flag before the rainbow was co-opted by the NHS. We all learned valuable lessons, including:

  • Politicians, media and public in the UK truly don’t know what “exponential growth” means
  • Driving for an hour to Barnard Castle is a perfectly acceptable way to test your eyesight
  • Despite everything, they actually would keep reopening Jurassic Park
  • Government can rule by decree, and neither the media nor the public nor MPs are too bothered by that

To the, uh, results.

For 2020’s predictions I asked a set of questions of the attendees of our very agreeable lunch, and gathered each person’s answers. Here they are again, with emoji ✅ ❌ scoring.

Politics

  1. Who will be the leader of the main UK political parties (Con, Lab, LD, SNP) on December 25, 2020?
    • Melanie: Boris Johnson ✅, Daniel Zeichner ❌, Layla Moran ❌, Nicola Sturgeon ✅
    • Chris: Boris Johnson ✅, Billy Bragg ❌, Caroline Flack ❌, Jimmy McSporran ❌
    • Chef: Boris Johnson ✅, Keir Starmer ✅, Jo Swinson ❌, Nicola Sturgeon ✅
    • Andy H: Boris Johnson ✅, Keir Starmer ✅, Ed Davey ✅, Nicola Sturgeon ✅
    • Andy C: Boris Johnson ✅, Rebecca Long-Bailey ❌, Ed Davey ✅, Nicola Sturgeon ✅
    • David: Boris Johnson ✅, Keir Starmer ✅, Ed Davey ✅, Nicola Sturgeon ✅
  2. Brexit! Will the UK extend the transition period beyond December 2020? If so, until when? If not, will the transition end with or without a deal?
    • Melanie: yes ❌, until a table is booked at Milliways
    • Chris: yes ❌, until the end of time
    • Chef: no ✅, and there’ll be no deal ❌
    • Andy H: yes ❌, for three months
    • Andy C: yes ❌, until end of January 2021
    • David: yes ❌, until end of 2021
  3. Will Scotland have an independence referendum in 2020? If so, what’s the result?
    • Melanie: no ✅; it’ll be talked about, but that’s it ✅
    • Chris: yes ❌; no score after extra time
    • Chef: no ✅
    • Andy H: no ✅
    • Andy C: no ✅
    • David: no ✅; it’ll be scheduled for 2021 ❌
  4. Who will be the Democrat nominee against Trump in the November 2020 election, and what will be the result of that election?
    • Melanie: RBG ❌; Democrat win ✅
    • Chris: The Littlest Hobo ❌; Trump win ❌
    • Chef: Elizabeth Warren ❌; Trump win ❌
    • Andy H: Elizabeth Warren ❌; Trump win ❌
    • Andy C: Hillary Clinton ❌; Trump win ❌
    • David: want Elizabeth Warren (score me on this one) ❌, fear Joe Biden; Democrat win ✅
    • [Correct answer: Joe Biden; Democrat win]

Entertainment

  1. How many Oscar nominations will Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker receive? And how many wins? Guess categories for bonus points.
    • Melanie: 4 ❌, 1 ❌, VFX ✅
    • Chris: 3 ✅, 3 ❌, Best lesbian kiss not shown in Shanghai ❌
    • Chef: 2 ❌, 0 ✅
    • Andy H: 2 ❌, 0 ✅, VFX ✅
    • Andy C: 4 ❌, 0 ✅
    • David: 5 ❌, 2 ❌, VFX ✅
    • [Correct answer: 3, 0, Best Original Score, Best Visual Effects, Best Sound Editing]
  2. Which country will come first at Eurovision 2020? And where will the UK finish?
    • Melanie: Putin ❌; bottom ❌
    • Chris: Central African Republic ❌; 30th ❌
    • Chef: Norway ❌; 2nd from bottom ❌
    • Andy H: Denmark ❌; bottom ❌
    • Andy C: Ireland ❌; bottom ❌
    • David: Australia ❌; 18th ❌
    • [Correct answer: it didn’t take place]
  3. Who will be announced, if anyone, as the next James Bond?
    • Melanie: Robert Pattinson ❌
    • Chris: Hermione Granger ❌
    • Chef: Daniel Radcliffe ❌
    • Andy H: no announcement ✅
    • Andy C: Jodie Comer ❌
    • David: no announcement ✅
  4. What will be the highest audience for an episode of Doctor Who series 12?
    • Melanie: 8.7m ❌
    • Chris: too drunk to answer ❌
    • Chef: too drunk to answer ❌
    • Andy H: 8m ❌ but closest
    • Andy C: 9.6m ❌
    • David: 8.5m ❌
    • [Correct answer: 6.89m]
  5. How many Razzies will the Cats movie receive?
    • Melanie: 5 ❌
    • Chris: too drunk to answer ❌
    • Chef: too drunk to answer ❌
    • Andy H: 3 ❌
    • Andy C: 4 ❌
    • David: 5 ❌
    • [Correct answer: 6]

Sport

  1. How many gold/silver/bronze medals will Team GB win at the Summer Olympics in Tokyo?
    • Melanie: 73 total ❌
    • Chris: 69 bronze ❌
    • Chef: 24 gold, 36 silver, 12 bronze ❌
    • Andy H: 50 total ❌
    • Andy C: 65 total ❌
    • David: 60 total ❌
    • [Correct answer: they didn’t take place]

There you go.

Leave a comment

Filed under Random

Tagged as