Yes, it’s my annual brace of blog posts. First, the predictable outcomes of last year’s predictions – see below – and later, once the alcohol has evaporated and/or metabolised from the annual prediction/booze-up extravaganza, our ridiculous theories for the year ahead.
My comments are in bold in square brackets.
Predictions
- Chef: When will the next Gaza ceasefire be?
- Adrian: none
- Louise: Trump will claim there is one, but there isn’t
- [Pretty accurate]
- AndyC: There may be ceasefires but they don’t count as everyone will keep shooting
- [Also pretty accurate]
- Chef: March
- Chris: “Half-past four”
- Melanie: February
- Jo: Christmas Day temporary ceasefire
- AndyH: There won’t be any that work
- [Arguably true]
- David: none
- [Wrong but also right]
- [Technically there was a ceasefire in January 2025, and a Gaza peace plan was signed in October 2025]
- Chris: Who/whom/what will be the next casualty of the high street?
- Adrian: Fopp
- Louise: Costa
- AndyC: WHSmith, Next
- Chef: Prezzo
- Chris: Zizzi
- Melanie: Fat Face
- Jo: Miss Selfridge
- AndyH: WHSmith
- David: WHSmith
- [WHSmith disappeared from the high street in 2025, replaced by identical shops with the made-up comedy name TGJones. WHSmith still exists in airports, railway stations, and other travel-related locations for the purposes of confusion]
- David: When will Trump sack/get rid of Musk?
- Adrian: October
- Louise: He won’t
- AndyC: He won’t
- Chef: September
- Chris: January
- Melanie: January, but Musk won’t accept it
- Jo: December
- AndyH: Q1
- David: January
- [It was in June, but they’ve since been flirting again]
- Louise: Will Musk become a trillionaire?
- Adrian: No
- Louise: Yes
- AndyC: Yes
- Chef: No, $100bn
- Chris: No
- Melanie: No
- Jo: No
- AndyH: Yes
- David: No
- [Not yet. At time of writing he’s supposedly worth about $750bn. In related news, we’re all doomed]
- Chef: How many press secretaries will Trump get through by the end of 2025?
- Adrian: 1
- Louise: 2
- AndyC: 3
- Chef: 2
- Chris: 1
- Melanie: 3
- Jo: 5
- AndyH: 3
- David: 2
- [Astonishingly he’s still on his first press secretary, so Adrian and Chris win this one]
- Adrian: Will Keir Starmer still be PM on the last day of 2025?
- Adrian: no
- Louise: yes
- AndyC: yes
- Chef: yes
- Chris: yes
- Melanie: no
- Jo: yes
- AndyH: yes
- David: yes
- [He still is. Whether he’ll still be around at the end of 2026 is another matter]
- Jo: When/will the wars/fighting in Ukraine/Gaza/Syria/Lebanon end?
- Adrian: Ukraine still at war; same for Gaza
- Louise: Ukraine and Gaza “going to drag on”
- AndyC: “They will all form a single state in rebellion against the rest of the world”
- Chef: Ukraine: January; Syria “will remain not at war”; Gaza: September; Lebanon: September
- Chris: July
- Melanie: No
- Jo: Never; maybe Christmas Day temporary ceasefire
- AndyH: Syria/Gaza no; Ukraine “cold war” but no real end, with a de-escalation
- David: Everything will drag on
- [Russia/Ukraine is still ongoing. Israel/Gaza is in a “ceasefire”]
- David: How many books will Anthony Camber sell in 2025? (Everyone was told that two new books are coming and AC sold almost nothing in 2024 with no new books out.)
- Adrian: 22
- Louise: 7
- AndyC: 7
- Chef: 12
- Chris: 43
- Melanie: 10
- Jo: 5000
- AndyH: 7
- David: 50
- [The numbers: 53 Amazon sales – paperback and ebook – plus roughly another 4 if you add Kindle Unlimited page reads, and one more ebook on Kobo. So about 58 overall]
- David: What will be the UK’s highest temperature?
- Adrian: 40.2
- Louise: 42
- AndyC: 41
- Chef: 38
- Chris: 220 (200 fan)
- Melanie: 39
- Jo: 45
- AndyH: 38
- David: 39
- [According to the Met Office: 35.8ºC, set in Faversham, Kent on 1 July]
- Chef: Which month will Chris and Melanie sell (complete) their old house?
- Adrian: April
- Louise: September
- AndyC: In November they sell the new house and move back to the old house
- Chef: July
- Chris: December
- Melanie: September
- Jo: April
- AndyH: September
- David: July
- [It was in November]
- AndyC: Will the Town and Gown still be called the Town and Gown?
- Adrian: yes
- Louise: yes
- AndyC: yes
- Chef: yes
- Chris: yes
- Melanie: yes
- Jo: yes
- AndyH: yes
- David: yes
- [Yes]
- Melanie: How many bottles of wine will Chris buy at auction?
- Adrian: 0
- Louise: 0
- AndyC: 0
- Chef: 5
- Chris: 0
- Melanie: 6
- Jo: 5
- AndyH: 3
- David: 5
- [The official total is zero]
- Celebrity deaths:
- Adrian: Chris Hoy
- Louise: Bruce Willis
- AndyC: Dick van Dyke, Vladimir Putin
- Chef: Richard E Grant
- Chris: Gloria Hunniford
- Melanie: Katie Price
- Jo: Someone in royalty
- AndyH: Tom Baker
- David: Donald Trump
- [“Someone in royalty”, yes: the Duchess of Kent died in September. Arguably we’re another royal down with the disenprincement of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. Everyone else named above is still alive]
Coming soon: 2026.
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