Avaragado and friends predict 2022

I mean, anything could happen. This Tory Cinematic Universe in which we’re all background artistes, with the stars anchored wide-legged and slack-jawed beside poles surrounded by broken crockery, continues its relentless storyline of implausibility and poor gags.

An exclusive coterie of four – me, Chef, Chris and Melanie – booked the inside of a barrel at the Town and Gown for lunch on New Year’s Eve to resurrect the tradition interrupted in 2020 by the thing. We slung together some random half-arsed predictions for 2022 after some wine and cocktails, and present them to you below, after the visual interlude. I apologise in advance.

Predictions

• Chef: Still Boris Johnson this time next year?
  • Chef: yes
  • Melanie: nope, he’ll be gone by March
  • David: no, July
• Chris wanted it on record for some reason that the four of us “will go out to eat at a vegan restaurant in 2022”
• David: Will the dear old queen make it to 2023?
  • Chris: yes
  • Melanie: yes
  • David: yes
  • Chef: no, she’ll pop off in October
• Chef thinks the James Webb Space Telescope deployment will fail in some way and it’ll be toast
• Chris: Will ARM be bought by Nvidia?
  • Chris: yes, September
  • Melanie: yes, August
  • David: yes, July
  • Chef: yes, June
• Chris: Will WH Smith still exist on the high street?
  • Chris: no
  • Melanie: no
  • David: yes
  • Chef: yes
• Melanie: Will Adrian have a job?
  • Consensus: nope
• Melanie: Will Prince Andrew lose that civil case against him?
  • Chris: yes
  • Melanie: no
  • David: no
  • Chef: yes
• David: What will be the name of the most recent major Covid variant?
  • Chris: Ting-tong
  • Melanie: Mut (Egyptian hieroglyph, Vulture)
  • David: Psi
  • Chef: Alpha-gamma