Tag Archives: theatre

England v Chicago

I love coincidences. Like booking months in advance to see a 3pm performance of Chicago in the West End only for England’s first match at the World Cup finals to be scheduled to start at 2pm on the same day. Yes, coincidences, I love ’em.

Lynda, Louise, Andy and I trained from Cambridge, Chef trained from High Wycombe, and we met outside Covent Garden tube just after 1pm. It felt more like Rome than London due to the heat, but a Rome invaded by England supporters. After an air-conditioned toasted panini we found a pub yards from the Cambridge Theatre so we could watch the first half. I’d predicted 1-1, but the early England goal was a worrying development: early goal for leads to cockiness leads to two goals against. I think it was Yoda who said that.

With ten minutes before curtain up the half-time whistle went and we dashed out to take our seats. Louise’s dad was primed to text her any footie developments.

We had an excellent view from the back of the stalls. But the heat was stifling, and Lynda – suffering from an early morning late night – had trouble staying awake during the first act, despite the talent on display. Andy failed to heckle Bonnie Langford, playing Roxie Hart, for her crimes against humanity in Doctor Who. A fat man last seen as one of the cast of the sitnocom Bread played Roxie’s husband Amos. Some pseudo-Sacha Distel garlicked up the role of Billy Flynn. Someone ejected from X-Factor by the great British public played Mama. There were lots of jazz hands.

At half-time in the show, Louise confirmed the full-time score in the football. Shame there hadn’t been more England goals – we’d speculated that we’d be able to hear cheers from outside, or someone in the theatre audience would find out and gesticulate wildly, or maybe even the cast would insert the news somehow – newspaper headlines feature more than once in the show. Still, 1-0 will do.

I was familiar with the musical numbers, the film having played in my presence (I wasn’t paying much attention to it) and having watched the excellent Channel 4 show Musicality (the winners played the major roles in Chicago in the West End, for one night only, and very good they were too). I think there must have been an American sitting not too far away, as someone kept yelling “Yeah!” after each number as us Brits applauded politely.

It was a polished performance: no slip-ups and technically very good (I am, of course, an expert in these matters). Since I find it hard to remember lyrics at all, I’m full of admiration for those who can sing “Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both/Oh yes, they both/Oh yes, they both reached for/The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun/Oh yes, they both reached for the gun/for the gun” while dancing, in time with everyone else.

Avaragado’s rating: peppered ragout

We stayed in Covent Garden for a pint at the Nag’s Head, met up with Sarah and Ades who were up from Bath for the day, and went for another pint at The Cove, nicely tucked away above a pasty shop with a view of the alleged entertainment badgering tourists below. Then to Fire and Stone, a posh pizza restaurant. None of yer Margheritas here: you get pizzas named after cities, such as the (may as well follow the theme) Chicago or Byron Bay. Occasionally non-intuitive ingredients, but very tasty.

Avaragado’s rating: bombay mix

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Paul Merton’s impro chums

Months ago Louise organised tickets for Paul Merton’s improvised comedy show, at the Corn Exchange for one night only. If you remember Whose Line is it Anyway?, it was like that but with more swearing and without Clive Anderson. Attending were myself, Louise, Chris, Melanie, Andy Heckford and Chef.

Alongside Paul Merton on stage were Steve Steen, Jim Sweeney, Richard Vranch-at-the-piano, Lee Simpson and Suki Webster. Older viewers may remember Steve Steen and Jim Sweeney from CBTV, back before Children’s ITV was called Children’s ITV. Due to MS Jim’s now in a wheelchair; if you think wheelchair-related comedy was thus out-of-bounds you’ve been in America too long. If you’ve never heard of Lee Simpson or Suki Webster, welcome to our little club.

We had the usual games: shouting out of theatre styles, inclusion of random objects in the plot, and similar japes. They must hear the same old things every time.

At half-time the audience were invited to scribble scenarios on bits of paper and submit them to the bucket of fate, to be extracted at random for most of the second half. I think we came up with nine or ten ideas. Staggeringly, four of them were picked out (three of mine, one of Chris’s). Two ideas became one-gag sketches: Victorian swingers party (Merton: “I’ve just had a threesome: Isambard, Kingdom and Brunel”), and After the London Olympics (Vranch: “I now declare this stadium… ready” – yeah, too easy, I know). Two were beefier: When octopuses go bad, and the very last one, which you won’t be surprised to learn was Chris’s suggestion, Lobster with a big cock finds Nemo.

I was pleased with the audience reaction to my suggestions, but when Paul Merton read out Chris’s idea it brought the house down.

Our ideas were much better than most of the others – “Star Trek on Mars”, I mean, for god’s sake. And there’s only one possible gag for “Narcoleptic meeting”, and that’s been done a thousand times already. As an exercise for the reader, guess the sketch resulting from the idea “a toothpick” (it’s very short).

Extremely good fun overall.

Avaragado’s rating: mushroom biryani

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Bath Blood Cow King’s Fleur

Another busy, busy day yesterday.

Strode purposefully through the rain (under an umbrella) to the Bath House at about 1pm for lunch with Lynda and Andy. We were joined by Chris, Melanie and Louise shortly afterwards. The occasion: proper grown-up entertainment.

The Willy Russell musical Blood Brothers was on at the Corn Exchange all week. We had tickets for the Saturday matinee. Theatrical know-nothing that I am, I had only the vaguest notion. Brothers, yeah, musical, yeah, Educating Rita bloke, yeah.

Apparently Linda “Yes, those Nolans” Nolan is one of the stars, but we got the understudy for her role. Good, actually: she was impressive. Belting set of lungs. Not so keen on the narrator, who was a bit too Vic Reeves Club Singer for me.

I enjoyed it a lot, despite occasional spoonfuls of sugar and slices of cheese. I suspect we’ll be mentioning “shoes on the table” and giggling for some time to come. I didn’t join in the standing ovation at the end; it felt a little forced, like feeling obliged to buy a raffle ticket when someone accosts you at the beer festival. But lots of clapping, yes.

Unexpected humour (a): the people in the row in front of us who were jumping in fright for the most unfrightening of things, like lighting changes, musical cues and naughty words.

Unexpected humour (b): a kid sitting not too far away from us, possibly a little young for the show, going “Eurgh!” in a romantic bit. I think he was giggling at the swearing too.

Unexpected humour (c): in a scene set in a classroom, the teacher is supposed to slam a desk lid on a student’s finger. Sadly the desk was the wrong way round in this performance; he tried to quickly rotate it but the game was up. A few cast members smiled at each other (maybe they did it deliberately to liven things up a little?)

Avaragado’s rating: a bag of gobstoppers

We had a post-musical cocktail at The Cow, joined incidentally by some members of the cast. Well, they were on another table. Chris shamefully failed to sing of shoes on the table within their earshot.

Then it was dinner at No. 1 King’s Parade. Yeah, not bad. I don’t remember the last time I was there – possibly a year or more ago – but I reckon the menu was longer. Food seemed about the same quality though.

Surprisingly, by 9:15 we were done and the others headed for taxis home. But.. but.. 9:15? On a Saturday night? Perhaps it was another caffeine kick from yesterday’s Espresso Martini (which kept me up until after 2am) but it seemed wrong to be going home when it was still relatively light.

So I texted RP. Turns out he was just leaving home for the Fleur, so I tagged along. Hadn’t been there for ages. Chatted to a few people with RP, had a few more drinks, then went home at a more sensible hour for a Saturday night.

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