Avaragado’s 2006 predictions: how didn’t I do?

For sale: one crystal ball, hardly used. One lady owner.

In a brazen and desperate attempt to retain the tiniest shred of credibility, I’ll mark each of my 2006 predictions out of five. Here goes…

From our if-only department Bush or Cheney will be impeached and/or defenestrated, in a shock scales-falling-from-eyes moment in the US.

Sadly not. But Rumsfeld did go, and this year saw a definite shift in power away from the neocons. The scales may be starting to fall. I’ll be generous and give myself one whole point here.

s/Blair/Brown/g The Dear Leader resigns, probably in the early autumn, and is replaced by Gordon Brown to nobody’s great surprise.

This was so close. There was a huge amount of speculation at that time, and Blair was forced to say that he’d be gone within a year. Brown is still the obvious replacement. I’ll award myself another point.

s/Kennedy/Oaten/g Take it as read that Charles Kennedy is a goner. My money’s on Mark Oaten as the replacement, but Lembit Opik’s a good bet too.

In all honesty I can’t justify any points here. Kennedy resigned only a couple of days after the prediction. Mark Oaten was discovered to have been renting things other than property. Lembit Opik was never a contender. Menzies Campbell ended up leader, and things have stuttered a bit for the Lib Dems.

Amateur hour A citizen journalist dies trying to get a unique angle on a story. There is much wailing and gnashing. The death of the net is predicted.

I don’t remember any reports of such a thing happening, so I guess it didn’t. No points.

Thar she blows Another record-breaking Hurricane season in the Atlantic. This time Miami gets it. There are few deaths due to Miami’s preparedness, and Jeb Bush uses this as a springboard for a presidential run.

Nope. Hurricanes not as newsworthy as 2005. No sign of a third Bush. No points.

Thar she also blows Mount St Helens.

Thar she also didn’t. No points.

Wembley stadiu Just enough of the new Wembley is complete on time to hold the FA Cup Final. But it’s a bit of a shambles. All-Premiership semi-finals, very tedious.

My faith in other people is touching. Nah, Wembley wasn’t ready by a long way. They were, however, all-Premiership semi-finals (and thus automatically tedious; but the final was a cracker). One point for the mini-prediction.

Home win Germany win the World Cup. England reach the quarter-finals as per, but no further.

I thought I’d nailed this one, but Germany lost the semi-final against eventual winners Italy (Italy!). England, naturally, lost on penalties in the quarters. I note that immediately before that match I predicted Rooney would be sent off, and he was. I award myself 2.5 points.

Tech buzzword Oh, something like “ubertags” (just googled it: 11,800 hits). How about “reputagging” (no hits).

And Google now says… eh? “ubertags” gets just 244 hits, how strange. “reputagging” – did you mean “repackaging”? OK, no points. Buzzwords, bah!

Double trouble Avaragado sees not one but two weddings this year in his general vicinity.

Hooray! Cryptic enough for me to claim five full points! Steve’s was the obvious one, but Bov and Chrissie also tied the knot this year. I count two!

Total score: 10.5 out of 50. Could do better.

Coming soon: Avaragado’s amazing 2007 predictions!