October 15, 2006 · 5:37 pm

The Secret Policeman’s Ball

The first Secret Policeman’s Ball in umpteen years took place last night at the Albert Hall. A host of celebrities, etc. Tickets were £100 a go. So we didn’t.

Instead, we watched live from the comfort of the Picturehouse Cinema. Just £12 a ticket, and shorter toilet and bar queues. And no missing the last train.

We ate early; De Luca was unsurprisingly almost empty at 5pm. The show started at nearly 7:45, fifteen minutes later than scheduled and 45 minutes later than shown on our tickets. Bah, to think we could have eaten at the far more respectable time of 5:30.

Here are one-word summaries of various acts.

  • The Zutons: subdued
  • Chevy Chase/Seth Green: OK
  • Jimmy Fallon/Barry from Eastenders: good
  • Dylan Moran: good
  • Andrew Maxwell: hmmmm
  • Jessica Stevenson/Julia Davies: OK
  • Russell Brand: excellent
  • Graham Norton/Ronnie Ancona/Jon Culshaw: impressive
  • Al Murray: splendid
  • The Magic Numbers: meh
  • The Mighty Boosh: acceptable
  • Sarah Silverman: odd
  • Omid Djalili: poor
  • Green Wing: poor
  • Richard E. Grant + others: OK
  • Natalie Imbruglia + David Armand: excellent
  • Eddie Izzard: excellent

Avaragado’s rating: one unopened pot of honey

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October 12, 2006 · 10:57 am

Bingo bingo quiz

Wednesday night is quiz’n’bingo night at the Fleur. I usually pop down, even if I’m on my own, as it’s fun to watch and listen even when not actively participating. My usual quizchum, Andrew, is unwell at the moment so I texted another friend, Robert, wondering if he might like to join me.

He arrived just minutes before the quiz started. We took a snap decision to pay our two earth pounds and join in.

Two hours later: he’d won both rounds of the bingo (two bottles of wine) and we’d won the quiz (£48).

The general knowledge and news rounds are always relatively easy – we got 10/10 and, I think, 9/10 on those, with a couple of inspired guesses (who’d have thought Netto only came to Britain in 1990?). The picture round is usually a 6/10 or so, but this week was an easy 9/10 (I think I must have been the only person in the room to get Denis Law and Mark Nicholas). The two ‘top five’ questions are always hit and miss. This week’s were on the top five foreign holiday destinations for Brits – Robert rattled out the correct five faster than I could write – and the five Pink Panther films starring Peter Sellers when he was alive, of which I could name four straight off, and plucked the fifth from the dark crevices in my head just in time.

So that was 38/40 or so, above average. And then came the music rounds, worth another 30 points.

First, song titles. This is usually early 90s rave or Kylie or Madge or some obscure fifties/sixties tracks, in which I sit back and let Andrew or others scratch their heads and scribble the answers. This week’s songs included such gems as Puppy Love and Save All Your Kisses For Me. Even, would you believe, Ernie, Fastest Milkman in the West. I think we got about 10/15, some famous songs too familiar to have titles in my head (you know, the electric burpy one with no lyrics that goes bip-bap-bip-bop-boop-bap-boop). I was, however, ashamed not to get Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep.

Second, band or artist names. And lo! Early-mid eighties. Robert got most of them from about the second beat. I mean, Culture Club. Wham. There were a few inspired guesses too: Mike and the Mechanics, for example. We got 11/15 I think.

Total: 59/70. But, I thought, surely it was all too easy this week. I expected to be fourth or fifth with the winner in the sixties. The result: we won by a single point.

With Robert’s two bingo wins (he was so embarrassed at winning once, let alone twice – I don’t think he’d ever played bingo before), we’d performed the legendary quiz’n’bingo full house. It is, clearly, all downhill from here.

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October 4, 2006 · 12:30 am

Wherein Avaragado realises he didn’t have a backup of that

“Hello,” says my Palm Vx. “Have we met before? I don’t think so.”

“Oh,” says Avaragado. “Oh dear. It seems I’ve left you off your charger for a bit too long. Never mind, I did sync you regularly, I’ve probably lost almost nothing.”

Thinks.

Thinks some more.

Remembers buying a new PC in July without a serial port.

Remembers not actually getting round to buying that USB/Serial adapter for the sole purpose of backing up his Palm.

Remembers that he bought the new PC partly so he could turn his old PC, after a disk failure, into his new server.

Twigs that the failed disk on the old PC contained the last backup of his Palm.

Glares at the failed disk adorning his bookshelf, nestling under some Star Wars lego.

Hmm. I think/hope I might have an old backup somewhere. But it won’t have that, or that, and probably not that either.

Avaragado’s first law of backups: even if you back up everything, you won’t back up everything.

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October 2, 2006 · 10:02 am

The Cat Came Back

I was reminded last night of the cartoon The Cat Came Back, which I probably first saw on Rolf Harris’ Cartoon Time.

Naturally it’s not hard to find these days. (IMDB)

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September 25, 2006 · 1:09 am

Zealotry and dark sunshine

On Saturday afternoon I lunched with a religious zealot and some hecklers. It was unplanned.

I’d wandered into town for a bite to eat pre-film, of which more later, when I was attracted by noise and a large crowd. As I got closer I saw a flip chart and a shouty American, and then a plucky young Brit shouting back. The American was spouting forth about how evolution is fake (using the old “everything has a designer” nonsense), showing diagrams of the dimensions of Noah’s Ark (“he took baby animals, not fully grown ones”), claiming the Earth is 4000 years old, and that sort of thing. The Brit was telling him he was an idiot.

Interested but hungry, I bought a sandwich and returned to watch the argument (resolving to keep my mouth shut, as I’d only get wound up if I joined in). More than one heckler was now involved.

It was scary and creepy stuff. The zealot, a relatively young man, was clearly experienced at this – more experienced than the hecklers. He knew all the tricks, such as deploying the “look, a shiny thing” change of subject whenever anyone started demolishing his argument; requiring proof of any assertion made by a heckler but refusing to offer any when the same question was asked of him; presenting discredited evidence; and so on. And all the while, his comrades circled the group, handing out leaflets.

Most of the watchers knew it was all nonsense and cheered on the hecklers. One heckler, most likely an academic, probably a philosopher or similar spod, knew his theology better than the zealot. It was no use: as in the wider world, the American shouted loudest.

Scariest of all, when the zealot finished a few people applauded and went up to congratulate him. I hurried into Waterstones and cuddled the new Richard Dawkins hardback, The God Delusion.

Thence to the Picturehouse, for Little Miss Sunshine with Chris, Louise, Andy and Chef. Satirical, dark, funny. Superb. I’ll say no more on that, as I hadn’t even seen a trailer before watching the film and it was all the better for that, I think. But if you have seen the trailer, see the film anyway.

Avaragado’s rating: frozen yoghurt

Next up: Cotto, a new restaurant next to the Tram Depot on East Road. This too met with my approval, though it might not suit those (a) on a budget and (b) with Chef. Expensive tastes, these city boys. “I didn’t think I ordered port,” indeed.

Avaragado’s rating: too much salt

Chris took a selection of photos during the day with his new camera. Yes, we went to pubs too.

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September 21, 2006 · 11:59 pm

It’s what she would have wanted

Knocks, enters.

Bows—from the neck—walks forward, shakes hand, bows again.

We saw The Queen tonight. It’s odd to watch on the big screen what is, in essence, a historical drama-documentary for events as recent as nine years ago. (But I guess no less odd than the recent spate of September 11-related films.)

Thank god it wasn’t a Hollywood treatment. No, actually, that might be quite funny.

The major players in the drama are all well realised, her maj herself in particular – Helen Mirren looking like a morphed version of herself and the real Brenda. Philip is suitably grumpy, Charles permanently paranoid and fiddling with his cuffs, the dear old Queen Mum half-cut, and Tony Blair all bright eyes and cheshire grin in the heady early days of his premiership.

There are no villains in the film; everyone tries to do the right thing, even if it’s entirely the wrong thing given the circumstances. It’s a very sympathetic portrait of the Queen, in fact – stuck between the traditionalists and modernisers, with her own instincts letting her down.

Tony Blair is portrayed more or less as the hero of the piece: not exactly the saviour of the monarchy, but certainly the one giving it a slap when it needed it. Some people will harrumph about this, but it’s hard to say that he did anything wrong. (The film shows how the newspaper headlines were entirely pro-Blair at the time; I wonder what the Daily Mail’s film reviewer thinks of it.)

The week after Diana’s death was of course completely bonkers and increasingly surreal, and we see it all: from Blair/Campbell’s “people’s princess” speech to the crowds in Hyde Park applauding Earl Spencer’s eulogy in Westminster Abbey. It brought back a lot of memories, not least Tom at the Wrestlers telling us that yes, he would be open on Saturday, the day of the funeral, because “it’s what she would have wanted”.

Excellent film.

Avaragado’s rating: one green olive

Exits walking backwards.

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September 14, 2006 · 10:08 am

We are victorious

It’s taken a few weeks, but victory was ours last night in the pub quiz. Andrew, his friend Richard and I emerged four points ahead of the second-place team with a score of 50/70.

About half of those points came from Andrew’s near-encyclopaedic knowledge of Bananarama, Belinda Carlisle and Cher’s musical adventures. OK, not so much on the Cher. But very impressive nonetheless. Now, if they’d played Belle and Sebastian… then I’d have sat there going “Ooh, yes, I know this one…” and not been able to remember the title.

My share of the winnings will keep me in White Lightning and UHU for a few days, anyhow.

(Scene from last Friday:

EXT, A CAMBRIDGE STREET. EARLY EVENING

BIG ISSUE SELLER: Big Issue! Big Issue sir?

ME/ANDREW: No thanks.

BEAT

BIG ISSUE SELLER: Big Issue sir?

ME/ANDREW: Still no thanks.

FADE

Persistent but forgetful.)

Oh, and Andrew won the bingo, too.

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September 9, 2006 · 9:33 pm

Pasta la vista, GCC

Oh, what an awful subject line. I do apologise.

Goodbye Siam Thai, Hello De Luca Cucina & Bar. Whenever we went to Siam Thai we were approximately the only customers, so I guess there’s no real surprise it’s disappeared and the Italians have muscled in. I don’t know how long it’s been open in its new guise, but we went there last night for the first time.

Packed to the gills it was, barely room for our table-for-five (Me, Andrew, Chris, Louise and Andy). Yet some bread’n’oil appeared within seconds, and we disappeared it almost as quickly. My inner cynic wondered whether this was a signal that they wanted us out as speedily as possible, but my doubts were misplaced – we weren’t hurried at all.

I’m afraid I was the only one drinking the white wine. It’s such a burden. (OK, Chris helped out at the end of the evening.)

The food was very good. As far as I recall. I don’t think we annoyed any of the twosomes sprinkled around us.

Avaragado’s rating: one unwanted piece of tofu

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August 13, 2006 · 4:54 pm

Renaissance

On Friday I went to see Renaissance (caution: Flash, noise) at the Picturehouse with Andrew and two of his other friends. I’d never heard of it before, but the trailer looked interesting.

Black and white – almost literally 2-bit colour – and entirely CGI, it has a unique visual style. Lots of swooping around 2054 Paris, lots of rain, lots of smoking.

It’s a mocapfest, each character portrayed by a credited motion capture artiste as well as a voice artiste. Made in France, there are at least two, er, localisations available – French and English (this may extend to more than just dialogue – some text was in English only, I think, and I can’t imagine yer frenchies would stand for that in a home-grown film).

The trouble is, of course, that it’s easy to get a disconnect between the physical and vocal portrayals. I do feel that some of the physical acting is a touch hammy. And some of the (English) vocals don’t work too well either, despite the names involved (Daniel Craig plays Bond the policeman, Jonathan Pryce the corporate supremo). Some of the lines are dud, but I can’t remember any specific examples; I very much suspect a lossy translation. (A few times I was reminded of poor cut scenes in video games, but not often.)

Like A Scanner Darkly, I wonder whether the film’s visual style disguises a pedestrian plot. I’m also certain that Pixar would have produced something technically better (in less time – it took six years to make), but then they’d have been able to throw more money at it.

Having said all that, I liked it; and it’s worth seeing if only for the visuals. Characters drive a Citroen-supplied concept design, and Paris 2054 is very well realised in its own special black and white way.

Avaragado’s rating: a bowl of prunes

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August 6, 2006 · 11:56 pm

Now you are two

IMG_3879In my capacity as guardian angel/official photographer, I attended Evie’s second birthday party on Saturday. Raw chocolate and other strange foodstuffs were had by all. Some of it looked like pot pourri.

Raw birthday cake is shown here. I broke a plastic fork on my slice, and it hadn’t even been in the freezer. It was very tasty though.

But anyway: photos

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