Monthly Archives: January 2007

Les Arcs

IMG_5174Yes, we’re back. And unless I’m very much mistaken, in an average of one piece each.

Things learned in Les Arcs this year:

  • I can go for 36 hours without any sleep, and ski during the tired end of that time.
  • Travelling between Lille and the Alps by train would be OK with (a) places to sleep and (b) you know, some sort of open buffet car of some kind serving actual food and drink for a seven hour journey.
  • The useless goggles I bought in Les Arcs two years ago are actually not useless. In fact they’re better than my useless sunglasses.
  • I am most likely to receive offers of contract work while half-way down a ski run. There’s insufficient data at present to determine whether the difficulty of the work offered is proportional to the difficulty of the piste.
  • I need new walking boots, preferably with soles not made from teflon.
  • I can get down a red hill covered in sheet ice while remaining upright, performing turns and avoiding other skiers.
  • It is possible to have a tasty omelette in a piste-side restaurant.
  • I can, within reason, write and send texts while skiing. The ‘within reason’ bit meaning ‘when hardly moving’ and ‘after a beer’. Karma ensures that I fall over my own feet soon afterwards.

As my fellow travellers are or will be Flickrites, I’ve created a Flickr group for all the photos. Just mine and Chris’s so far, as the others are lazy.

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I’m wearing a t-shirt, I’ve just opened my window to let out a stupid fly, and trees are in bloom.

April comes more quickly every year.

Next week it’ll apparently be much colder. I’ll be skiing anyway.

For future reference: it was Chris’s daft idea to go by train.

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Avaragado’s ridiculous 2007 predictions

This year is too predictable. Everybody’s saying the same things. I refuse to follow convention, as you know, so I’m not going to say anything about the US presidential elections (well, a bit) or UK politics (well, a bit).

Without further ado, whatever that actually means, blame Shakespeare probably, here they are:

In religious fundamentalist news: Dick Cheney departs this mortal coil – heart failure. Loonybins Bush nominates crazy name, crazy gal Condoleezza Rice as replacement VP, thus kick-starting her run for the top job in 08.

In the war against Eurasia: Oh, I imagine some strike against Iran. With a cowboy Major riding the bomb on the way down, a la Doctor Strangelove (note to future self: award additional 50 points if this actually happens).

In a shock occurrence of democracy New PM Gordon Brown calls an election for October, after the party conferences, since blue-green David Cameron still won’t have any policies by then. Labour wins again.

In alien invasion news: A photo is taken of actual running water on Mars.

In a blatant rehash from last year A citizen journalist dies trying to get a story. Wailing and gnashing, death of the net, etc. This’ll happen, oh yes. You mark my words. I’ll keep predicting it until it does.

In the only tennis that anyone cares about: Can’t see past Roger Federer at Wimbledon this year. Tim Henman has a long run, making it as far as the fourth set before losing in the first round. Andy Murray squeezes into round four but no further.

In Portuguese wardrobe news: The Premiership and international footballer whose name rhymes with Phristiano Ponaldo announces his friendship with the Wizard of Oz character whose name rhymes with Porothy.

In the Oscars®™etc Helen Mirren gets Best Actress for The Queen. I really don’t know who gets Best Actor; Christian Bale for The Prestige, maybe? My hunch for Best Film is United 93.

In predictable celebrity deaths: one point for each of the following: Prince Phillip, Pope Benedict the smiling nazi, Margaret Thatcher, Denis Healey, Patrick Moore.

In unpredictable celebrity deaths: five points for Pete Doherty.

I could get all self-referential and predict how many points I’ll get, but I won’t. It’s turtles all the way down.


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CGI? We don’t need no stinkin’ CGI

It’s not one of my official 2007 predictions, but I’m sure Walking With Dinosaurs: The Live Experience is going to be amazingly popular.

Drop your jaws at this video:

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Evening all

I’ve just got home from a rather long lunch. It started at 2pm in a coffee shop, and ended up at about 2.30am in The Fountain. It’s all Robert’s fault.

Anyway. I’m fuming.

On the way home, I’m stopped by the police. “Can I ask where you’re going?”

“I’m on my way home from the pub”

He asks for my name and date of birth and calls into the station for a check. There are other questions, like where I live and whether I’ve been in trouble with the police. I suddenly feel like I’m a criminal for daring to walk home out of the prescribed hours. He picks up my attitude and tells me that he’s perfectly entitled to question me on anything he wants. I tell him that I’m perfectly entitled to walk home from the pub, I’ve been doing it for several years now.

After a short stand-off, he tells me I’m free to go. I should think so too. That was not what I wanted tonight, thank you so very much.


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