Tag Archives: film

Jumping straight into my top five films of the year, The History Boys.

Now I don’t remember school being quite like that in the 80s, but then I went to a comprehensive.

Hang on. I’ve just remembered one particular teacher. But apart from him (and that was just gossip), it wasn’t like that.

We did have a day trip to Cambridge, but not for formal interviews – just a snooping session, friendly chats, that sort of thing, to see whether we were interested in applying. Our head-of-year drove the three of us to Cambridge in her mini; the only details I remember from that journey are, bizarrely, joining the A1 (from a country lane, slip roads were for wimps) and listening to Bohemian Rhapsody at full volume. It was the first and only time she ever seemed human (the rest of the time she just clomped around school in her very sensible shoes being grumpy).

I went to see Downing and Magdalene. The tutor we saw at Downing told us he knew one of the students from our school at the college, “Judith Mel-hyoo-ish, yes, I know her well.” Not well enough to know how to pronounce her surname, though. I remember we had lunch there with some undergrads, but not much else.

At Magdalene I chatted to a tutor in his little office in the ramshackle tudor buildings behind Magdalene Street. I decided I preferred Downing; one reason, I remember, was that Magdalene was then still males only. Insert your own jokes here.

Our teacher took us for a cup of tea at the University Arms before we went home.

And then, of course, I went to Kent. But that’s another story.

Anyway, the film’s great. If there’s any chance of your seeing it, do. That would please Hector. “Your seeing it.” It’s a gerund. He likes gerunds.

Avaragado’s rating: rubber chicken and rice, I think

Knocks, enters.

Bows—from the neck—walks forward, shakes hand, bows again.

We saw The Queen tonight. It’s odd to watch on the big screen what is, in essence, a historical drama-documentary for events as recent as nine years ago. (But I guess no less odd than the recent spate of September 11-related films.)

Thank god it wasn’t a Hollywood treatment. No, actually, that might be quite funny.

The major players in the drama are all well realised, her maj herself in particular – Helen Mirren looking like a morphed version of herself and the real Brenda. Philip is suitably grumpy, Charles permanently paranoid and fiddling with his cuffs, the dear old Queen Mum half-cut, and Tony Blair all bright eyes and cheshire grin in the heady early days of his premiership.

There are no villains in the film; everyone tries to do the right thing, even if it’s entirely the wrong thing given the circumstances. It’s a very sympathetic portrait of the Queen, in fact – stuck between the traditionalists and modernisers, with her own instincts letting her down.

Tony Blair is portrayed more or less as the hero of the piece: not exactly the saviour of the monarchy, but certainly the one giving it a slap when it needed it. Some people will harrumph about this, but it’s hard to say that he did anything wrong. (The film shows how the newspaper headlines were entirely pro-Blair at the time; I wonder what the Daily Mail’s film reviewer thinks of it.)

The week after Diana’s death was of course completely bonkers and increasingly surreal, and we see it all: from Blair/Campbell’s “people’s princess” speech to the crowds in Hyde Park applauding Earl Spencer’s eulogy in Westminster Abbey. It brought back a lot of memories, not least Tom at the Wrestlers telling us that yes, he would be open on Saturday, the day of the funeral, because “it’s what she would have wanted”.

Excellent film.

Avaragado’s rating: one green olive

Exits walking backwards.

On Friday I went to see Renaissance (caution: Flash, noise) at the Picturehouse with Andrew and two of his other friends. I’d never heard of it before, but the trailer looked interesting.

Black and white – almost literally 2-bit colour – and entirely CGI, it has a unique visual style. Lots of swooping around 2054 Paris, lots of rain, lots of smoking.

It’s a mocapfest, each character portrayed by a credited motion capture artiste as well as a voice artiste. Made in France, there are at least two, er, localisations available – French and English (this may extend to more than just dialogue – some text was in English only, I think, and I can’t imagine yer frenchies would stand for that in a home-grown film).

The trouble is, of course, that it’s easy to get a disconnect between the physical and vocal portrayals. I do feel that some of the physical acting is a touch hammy. And some of the (English) vocals don’t work too well either, despite the names involved (Daniel Craig plays Bond the policeman, Jonathan Pryce the corporate supremo). Some of the lines are dud, but I can’t remember any specific examples; I very much suspect a lossy translation. (A few times I was reminded of poor cut scenes in video games, but not often.)

Like A Scanner Darkly, I wonder whether the film’s visual style disguises a pedestrian plot. I’m also certain that Pixar would have produced something technically better (in less time – it took six years to make), but then they’d have been able to throw more money at it.

Having said all that, I liked it; and it’s worth seeing if only for the visuals. Characters drive a Citroen-supplied concept design, and Paris 2054 is very well realised in its own special black and white way.

Avaragado’s rating: a bowl of prunes

I’ve seen two films at the Cambridge Film Festival this week, and one with the proles at the Vue. My thought-provoking and in-depth reviews follow.

It’s Nice Up North

In this ultra low-budget docucomedy, John Shuttleworth attempts to prove that northerners are nicer than southerners by talking to random people in Shetland (not the Shetlands!). He keeps heading further north until there’s nowhere to go, accompanied in part by a tourist guide who tells stories continuously whether or not anyone’s listening or even present.

Diverting. Reasonably funny if you like John Shuttleworth, and I do.

The screening was followed by a live Q&A with John Shuttleworth’s alter ego Graham Fellows and his cameraman, renowned odd photographer Martin Parr. John Shuttleworth is essentially Fellows with make-up, costume and facial expression; not much acting required.

Avaragado’s rating: tomato soup

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Too long by half an hour. Not as original (obviously) or as funny as the first film, but several humorous set-pieces.

Bill Nighy and his not-quite-right accent naturally steal every scene they’re in. Johnny Depp, well, camps it up magnificently again. Mackenzie Crook reprises his role and does very well; there’s a great scene where he debates the correct pronunciation of “Kraken” with crewmates.

There’s a weak ending. Without giving anything away, there’s no true resolution but only a set-up for the third film, made back-to-back with this one. Back to the Future did a better job.

Avaragado’s rating: coconut milk

A Scanner Darkly

Rotoscoped Keanu and friends in drug-based thriller action. The UK premiere, surprisingly.

The rotoscoping is very well done, if (deliberately, I’m sure) eye-bending in places. The stand-out performance is by Robert Downey Jr., but I always enjoy Woody Harrelson in roles like this (a kind of druggy version of Woody from Cheers). Keanu plays Keanu as only Keanu can, which at least means less of that tricky acting business.

Post-film it was suggested that had this not been rotoscoped and therefore Interesting, it would have been generic-by-numbers and therefore Tedious. There’s something to that, but there’s also the Philip K. Dick background to consider. Wikipedia’s summary of the story suggests film-faithfully-following-original-story shocker, which is, I submit, a good and healthy thing.

Avaragado’s rating: blue smarties

X-Men 3 has had some poor reviews apparently – I haven’t read them, since they tend to reveal too much plot for my liking. I hate being spoiled, especially the most important plot point: where and when my very good friend Stan Lee will make his cameo appearance.

I always wanted to be Cyclops. Or Iceman. Or Angel. I wasn’t fussy. At a pinch any kind of sensible mutant powers would have done, but I would probably have ended up with the uncanny ability to read a book quickly or something similarly tedious. Yeah, Professor X, let’s simulate that in the Danger Room.

The film I predictably enjoyed. Being unspoiled I was surprised by one or two plot points, which always raises my opinion of a film. You don’t expect (nor did we experience) too much acting in this sort of film, even with such luvvies as Patty Stewart and Ianny McKellen. (Bless dear old Serena: in the last few years he’s played Richard III, Gandalf, Magneto, a guest role in Coronation Street, and Widow Twankey. What a CV.)

Sadly I forgot that I’d read about a sooper-sekrit post-credits final scene, so trooped out along with everyone else right after the not-so-sooper-sekrit pre-credits final scene faded to black. Google for it if you’re interested.

And no, I wouldn’t take the cure.

Avaragado’s rating: three chocolate digestives

So, just some numbers then.

Let me say immediately that I have not read The Da Vinci Code, and have no plans to do so. I didn’t exactly plan to see the film either, but I was invited and it got me out of the flat on a breezy, drizzly Saturday afternoon.

Meh. I was going to title this post “The Da Vinci Blowed”, but everyone’s doing that.

In an interview the other day Ian McKellen said it was a “talkie”. He meant not that it used the wondrous new synchronised sound and vision system taking the motion picture world by storm, but that it consisted of lots of scenes with people jabbering away at each other. And so it does. And does and does and continues to do for most of the film.

Endless expository chat. Flashbacks galore, some to the characters’ youths, some to various historical events, and some to what happened earlier in the film. Very well shot, nicely meshed into the scenes flashed back from, but dear lord you quickly become desperate for Bruce Willis to abseil through a stained glass window and uzi everyone into a mangled, bloody pulp.

That’s not to say it’s all bad. Ian McKellen does his best, as does Paul Bettany as the albino self-basting monk. It’s actually quite an interesting story. Fiction, slightly swivel-eyed, but interesting nonetheless. I successfully avoided laughing out loud at something not intended as a joke (nothing specific, I was just expecting to at some point).

I did, however, correctly guess too many plot revelations. This is unusual for me. It suggests that (a) I have suddenly acquired useful new skills, (b) the film went for the obvious at every turn, (c) I had too much time to think rather than watch, and/or (d) it’s some conspiracy related to Opus Dei.

Whatever, the next albino monk I see shuffling in my direction will get a Paddington stare.

(Oh, the funniest part was before the film started: two ladies were escorted from their seats by a member of staff, the rightful ticketholders having arrived to find their seats occupied. Turns out the ladies were there a day early. I think they were relocated rather than booted out.)

Avaragado’s rating: A rancid old ovine

When Ethan Hunt says he works for the IMF, I think nternational onetary und, not mpossible ission orce. But anyway. I imagine it’s just me.

I am slightly ashamed to say that I enjoyed MI3. Tosh, naturally, and the scientoloon’s career high is still Risky Business in my humble opinion. But with flavour-of-the-moment JJ Abrams as a writer and director, and ditto Philip Seymour Hoffman as chief villain, it’s turned out a cut above the normal dross. Maybe a paper cut rather than a full-on blood-letting, but it beat my expectations and that can only be a good thing.

Oh, Simon Pegg’s in it, and very good he is too. Also present are various bits of Rome that we recognised from our visit last year.

Avaragado’s rating: one grain of rice

Good news, everyone: Chef’s got a Flickr account.

Earlier tonight we went to see Transamerica – you know the one, that woman from Desperate Housewives putting on a deep voice and pretending to be a transsexual.

I enjoyed it. Funny in places, thought-provoking too. I confirm that I had no objection to the nudity.

About ten minutes into the film we were joined by Professor Stephen Hawking. The voice gave it away – he forgot to ratchet down the volume until he was settled. Glad to know that the greatest cosmologist of our time also doesn’t mind blocking the odd aisle for a good film.

He uses Eudora, by the way. Please note that I wouldn’t have said that if I hadn’t also been drinking.

Avaragado’s rating: 250g of broccoli florets