At yesterday’s lunch I attempted another set of group predictions for 2020, with… mixed results. Perhaps – and you may well argue that I should have learned this lesson by now – leaving it until Chris and Chef were a few fathoms into their second bottle was a mistake.
However, that was last decade, back when we still had hope, before trousers were currency and before the Denunciation of the Courgette. Now we must push on, push on, into our 4K teal and orange future.
Our collective (hic) vision for 2020 follows:
Politics
- Who will be the leader of the main UK political parties (Con, Lab, LD, SNP) on December 25, 2020?
- Melanie: Boris Johnson, Daniel Zeichner, Layla Moran, Nicola Sturgeon
- Chris: Boris Johnson, Billy Bragg, Caroline Flack, Jimmy McSporran
- Chef: Boris Johnson, Keir Starmer, Jo Swinson, Nicola Sturgeon
- Andy H: Boris Johnson, Keir Starmer, Ed Davey, Nicola Sturgeon
- Andy C: Boris Johnson, Rebecca Long-Bailey, Ed Davey, Nicola Sturgeon
- David: Boris Johnson, Keir Starmer, Ed Davey, Nicola Sturgeon
- Brexit! Will the UK extend the transition period beyond December 2020? If so, until when? If not, will the transition end with or without a deal?
- Melanie: yes, until a table is booked at Milliways
- Chris: yes, until the end of time
- Chef: no, and there’ll be no deal
- Andy H: yes, for three months
- Andy C: yes, until end of January 2021
- David: yes, until end of 2021
- Will Scotland have an independence referendum in 2020? If so, what’s the result?
- Melanie: no; it’ll be talked about, but that’s it
- Chris: yes; no score after extra time
- Chef: no
- Andy H: no
- Andy C: no
- David: no; it’ll be scheduled for 2021
- Who will be the Democrat nominee against Trump in the November 2020 election, and what will be the result of that election?
- Melanie: RBG; Democrat win
- Chris: The Littlest Hobo; Trump win
- Chef: Elizabeth Warren; Trump win
- Andy H: Elizabeth Warren; Trump win
- Andy C: Hillary Clinton; Trump win
- David: want Elizabeth Warren (score me on this one), fear Joe Biden; Democrat win
Entertainment
- How many Oscar nominations will Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker receive? And how many wins? Guess categories for bonus points.
- Melanie: 4, 1, VFX
- Chris: 3, 3, Best lesbian kiss not shown in Shanghai
- Chef: 2, 0
- Andy H: 2, 0, VFX
- Andy C: 4, 0
- David: 5, 2, VFX
- Which country will come first at Eurovision 2020? And where will the UK finish?
- Melanie: Putin; bottom
- Chris: Central African Republic; 30th
- Chef: Norway; 2nd from bottom
- Andy H: Denmark; bottom
- Andy C: Ireland; bottom
- David: Australia; 18th
- Who will be announced, if anyone, as the next James Bond?
- Melanie: Robert Pattinson
- Chris: Hermione Granger
- Chef: Daniel Radcliffe
- Andy H: no announcement
- Andy C: Jodie Comer
- David: no announcement
- What will be the highest audience for an episode of Doctor Who series 12?
- Melanie: 8.7m
- Chris: too drunk to answer
- Chef: too drunk to answer
- Andy H: 8m
- Andy C: 9.6m
- David: 8.5m
- How many Razzies will the Cats movie receive?
- Melanie: 5
- Chris: too drunk to answer
- Chef: too drunk to answer
- Andy H: 3
- Andy C: 4
- David: 5
Sport
- How many gold/silver/bronze medals will Team GB win at the Summer Olympics in Tokyo?
- Melanie: 73 total
- Chris: 69 bronze
- Chef: 24 gold, 36 silver, 12 bronze
- Andy H: 50 total
- Andy C: 65 total
- David: 60 total
There you have it, and may god have mercy on our souls.
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